Back to Thanks

So when I started looking for things to be thankful for a couple of months ago I figured it would help me focus on the good things in life and that finding them would not be that difficult. However, as time progressed I found myself just pulling random things out of my day and not thinking about it as much, then as life has brought some frustrating circumstances surrounding some decisions I needed to make I found it hard to look for the good things. I found my focus going to the difficult thing and let it color everything else.

Then God reminded me "In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. I Thessalonians 5:18" I found it interesting that is follows the verse: "Pray without ceasing", in a way I feel like I am being reminded that I am to give thanks even when I can't see God working.

Thankfulness isn't about just the things I want, it is about acknowledging gratefulness to God. Sometimes I have to take it on faith that God is working, other times I need to remember that He works ALL things together for good: the frustrating things, the happy things, the good, and the bad. Most of all I need to remember that He is Good and that He is God and I am not.

So I am working on getting back to giving thanks, I am thankful:
God is working in my life
He loves me
God is patient with me
Even when I don't understand I can trust Him

Every Branch that Beareth Fruit

On Sunday the scripture reading at church was from John 15, one of my favorite passages. I've read it many times but I especially liked the point that was made: The good branches still get pruned.

² Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: 

and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, 

that it may bring forth more fruit.

Even in purging His desire is that we may bring forth more fruit. It was good to be reminded that God is at work in my life and that His grace extends to me everyday and to remember that His purpose is good. 

Thankful

I am so thankful for all of the rich blessings I have found over the past while as I have been looking for the joys in the everyday. I have found that even on the toughest days there is always something to smile about.  To add to my post from last time:

Sitting in the sun just enjoying the scenery, I have enjoyed watching as little faith looks at all the pretty flowers and as she zigzags around the yard watching the bees and butterflies as they flit from one bud to the next. She is so wrapped up in the simple beauty she doesn't notice she is being watched.

Spending time doing things with friends. It is amazing how many things become much more fun when you are doing them with friends.

Baking - I love baking and have had lots of opportunity to fill that in the last two weeks... I think I am good for a while. 

Cooking - Basically ditto to what I said about baking and friends, cooking is awesome especially when you do it with friends. 

I have also been super blessed to be reminded of how happy it is to be able to talk to God everyday and know that I am not alone in the 'little' and 'big' things of life.

The unexpected - I don't always like being unsure, but I am enjoying learning new things as I continue to discover more of who God is in the moments I am unsure of what I should do next. 

Joy - Happiness Independent of Life's Circumstances

A friend challenged me to look for small things through out the day that made me smile as a combatant for the days when no matter how good life is overall I allow a few negative things to be my focus. So I decided to share those with you. Over the next several weeks/months I will be adding to this post until I reach the designated number and have hopefully grinned my way through the summer :D

Happy Guitar Music ~ Picnics in the back yard ~ Text ~ Waking up to Sunshine

Vanilla Carmel Tea ~ Reading a good Book ~ Coffee ~ A Quick Run
Laying in the grass ~ Reading in the sunshine ~ Friendship ~ Bubbles ~Balloons
Paper crafts ~ Spring cleaning, yes I said cleaning ;)

21 Years Ago

Twenty-one years ago this month, my last name changed when I was adopted into the Sanborn family. Adoption has meant many things to me but mostly it means I belong.

Adoption is a beautiful picture of what God has done for each of us. He takes those who don't belong, both the ones who think they are ok and the ones that feel lost and alone, and makes them His own. He gives us all the privileges and rights of a natural child, they are ours whether we use them or not. He is patient as we accept this new position and learn all that it means: we are His and we belong.

I can with confidence say: I'm a Sanborn...

I can with confidence say: I'm God's child...

I am loved and accepted

Given grace when I make mistakes

Taught how to take steps and walk

I can laugh because regardless of what tomorrow holds I am loved

I can face the world with confidence because I have a strong foundation

Being Christian encompasses a lot of things, the part I treasure most is: I have a family that knows no bounds and can be found everywhere. Being adopted means many things, for me it means I belong and I am loved. 

My parents have given me many things: Love, food, clothing, an education, a home, a family, but most importantly they have introduced me to my Savior and helped bring me into an even bigger family, God's family.  My Dad may not always be there to hold me when I cry or to help rescue me if the car breaks down; Mom may not be able to make my favorite food to cheer me up after a hard day or sit and listen while I muddle through a problem, but I know that no matter how far away I am they are talking to my heavenly father about me and are entrusting me to His care. I am so glad I'm a Sanborn and I am so glad I'm a Christian.

1 Cor. 13:4-7

In Sunday School we were challenged to replace the word Love with our own names as we read 1Cor. 13:4-7

I am patient and kind; 

I do not envy or boast; 

am not arrogant or rude.

I do not insist on my own way;

 am not irritable or resentful;

I do not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoice with the truth.

I bear all things, believe all things,

hope all things, endure all things.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Week One - Snapshots

So my first week back here in CO has officially been fantastic! Here are a few 'snap-shots' - Moments I didn't get a picture of, but are priceless nonetheless.

"Remember whose you are" - If I had a picture of this it would be of my dad giving me a big hug after a final prayer for safety and blessing. Cause at the end of that hug he always says the same thing: "remember whose you are"... His and God's. No matter where I go God goes with me and Dad is only a phone call away. It is also great incentive to be the best I can be, because I want to make them proud of me.

"The Wave" - Every family has quirky things that they do, that others watching might not get but means a whole-ton-of-a-lot (as a friend of mine would say) to those who understand. In my family one of those things is 'the wave'. At the last moment before you enter the shuttle to your gate, the official beginning of your adventure, you are supposed to turn and wave to the family waiting for that last see-you-later. So of course this time was no different, especially since my-Sarah had given me strict instructions not to forget.

"Arrival" - After a long trip nothing is happier than being greeted by people happy to see you :) Especially if there are kiddos in that group; which there were.

"Papa Murphy's Pizza" - Well, it's fantastic pizza!

"Puzzle time" - Hanging out with some friends, just enjoying the evening as we worked on a puzzle. I love it when you don't have to keep a conversation going, or accomplishing something to enjoy yourself with people. Some of the best friends are the ones that just being with them equals a good time.

"Hockey goal!" - I love playing street hockey! It's a great way to get rid of extra energy from the week as well as a lot of fun. I usually play defense, but I ran up for offense during one of the plays and made a goal, yes I am proud of that! :)

"Surprise visit" - One of my friends from VA happened to be driving through and was staying with another friend in the area so I got to see both of them and hang out for a few hours.

There are lots of other great times, but those are a few of my favorites. God has blessed and life is good.

Final Goodbyes

It's funny how many thoughts and ideas run through one's mind on the verge of leaving home for the 'last time'.

It isn't as if I have never left before, or been gone for extended periods of time, because I have. But this time saying goodbye seems so final; there is just something about knowing that whenever I come back I will be visiting, there will be no 'my room' to come to and 'my house' will now mean somewhere else.

I have experienced many adventures so far and been some wonderful places but at then end of each adventure no matter how long or how far it has taken me, I always love to come home. Thankfully home isn't just a place or a room, it's family... and family is the one 'place I belong' that can stretch for miles to reach wherever I am.

I have mixed emotions about closing a chapter in my life, but I am excited about beginning another. I know God is going to do many things during this next journey and I am ready to start!

Reflections and Resolutions

This time last year... This year I am going to... Every year around this time people are talking about  new year resolutions and thinking over last year's resolutions (or trying not to remember that they never did them).

Well, I have joined the crowds! As I look back I grin at the mental check list of things I finished and goals I met, and I frown at the ones I didn't finish as I try to think of great reasons (not excuses) why I didn't get to them...

Generally I don't make resolutions because my enthusiasm for them tends to die after about 2 weeks, but I decided to give it a try last year and I am glad I did. Although I didn't do anything 'monumental' the goals I made did help keep me a little focused and reminded me to keep going on some projects I probably would  have happily forgotten about.

So due to my past success... I decided to try out a couple of new goals this year. I have been trying to decide what they will be... because I hate failing I want them to not be too hard but because I love a challenge I don't want them to be things I would just do every day. (If you have made resolutions or goals I am sure you have faced a similar difficulty so I shall leave explaining my process there) I finally came up with a few things I would like to accomplish and have dutifully written them down where I can see them frequently and hopefully will do even better this year.

I would like to share one that is an 'intangible' with you, but first wanted to explain that it is linked to a lesson God has been teaching me this year which I also wanted to share. So if it seems a little muddled I apologize in advance.

To be honest, this last year has had several rather stressful times for me. It has had some major decisions that were difficult to make because they would effect my future and the circumstances around them were mostly out of my control. I allowed this to be my focus and life became overwhelming at times and this effected my ability to focus on those around me.

This year has also held some incredible adventures and lots of happy times. I was able to spend some time traveling and seeing friends and some of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. Some of my favorites were Pike's Peak, touring DC and visiting one of my best friends, getting to help with a friend's wedding in Texas, and making many new friends during several months in Colorado.

However, as I talked to God about this past year I noticed that while I had both ups and downs I was letting the downs shadow the good times. In further talking to God and some due to conversations I had with a friend I began to realize how often I focus on the struggles and how much I allow past circumstances to keep me from being as free as I might to enjoy life.

Each event wether good or bad is shaping who I will be tomorrow and how I will respond to future circumstances. More importantly, what I choose to do in response to these events will either improve my character or weaken it.

Bad moments and struggles are ok to have, they are part of life, but dwelling on them can sometimes cause more damage than the original event. I have been challenged to not only come honestly to God with the hard times but to come more frequently to Him in the good times; to share the joys of life with Him and others so I can more deeply appreciate and savor them.

So, what I really want to 'resolve to do' this next year is not tangible, but rather a refocusing of my mind and heart.

I desire to focus on the good, choosing to look at the lessons learned from the hard times and on who God revealed himself to be during them rather than focusing on the disappointment or pain. I want to be able to be honest about difficult times or frustrations experienced without allowing self pity to invade my heart; to spend more time savoring the joy of friendship and laughter shared as the days go by and learn to trust that God is working through everything so I can savor the 'smiles' I get from Him every day.

I can look back, and say it has been a good year! ...Because it was :)

Oh give thanks unto the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! -Ps. 107:1

Veterans

Back in November I was in a D.C. airport waiting for my flight back to CO when an announcement was made that a group of WWII veterans would be landing shortly and would we please help welcome them. It was an awesome opportunity and I am so glad I was able to be there.

 In researching the reason for them being there I discovered "Honor Flights". Basically it is an organization trying to bring WWII veterans to D.C. to see their memorial free of charge. 

To read more about why they were there go to: http://www.honorflight.org/

Here is a link to an article on the Honor flight I got to 'see' go to : http://www.nationalmall.org/news/group-world-war-ii-veterans-take-honor-flight-milwaukee-dc

Jefferson Memorial

I love November! The fall weather, smells of the holidays coming, family and friends; and this year, since I am in Colorado, I even got to enjoy the changing colors of the trees. I say "got to" because now it is snowing, and this Florida girl is super excited about that!

It also snowed last week, and I got to:

Build a super cool Snow-fort

Make a snowman with MaryBeth

and went sledding with the kiddos...

 I also managed to actually hit someone with a snowball, but I didn't get a picture of that... Yes, this has been a fantastic week! Aaaaaand it is snowing again, and the ground is all covered! Happiness!

Washington D.C.

This last week I had the awesome privilege of visiting some great friends and seeing Washington D.C. the weather was beautiful, and the city stunning! 

As we walked around I was amazed at the detail in each monument and how much symbolism and thought went into every thing. More to come on all of that later, but I wanted to share a few of my favorite shots/places. 

This is the WWII memorial, with the Washington monument in the back ground. Have I mentioned that D.C. is stunning?

The tomb of the unknown soldier. The whole visit to Arlington was sobering, it gave me a small picture of just how many people I have to thank for the life I live. Even though I don't know their name and they would never know mine, I could stand there and look at their tombstones because they had lived. All to often we take for granted the people we pass on the street, as I stood there I began to wonder how many of those people actually changed our lives, people I would never know by name.

The Library of Congress was probably my favorite place. It is stunning from floor to ceiling. I could have spent the entire day here, but there was to much to pack in. I did however get a library card, and got to see Jefferson's original contributions. Definitely an experience I hope to repeat someday. 

Saturdays...

I'm trying out several types of writing for a class I am taking... so I decided to use a few here. 

This morning I woke up to giggles and loud whispers: "shhh!", "Moooommm I can't find my shirt." I am staying with some friends and they have three kiddos. The youngest can't quite talk yet and her cheerful, "dah dah dat" joined in the happy murmurs of a great Saturday morning.

After stretching I grabbed some clothes and headed toward the bathroom, only to be stopped in the doorway of my room by little Faith, the 1yr old. She had a book in her hand and a smile on her face, how could I resist? So I sat on the floor and she promptly plopped into my lap. "Dat! heh, dah, ahh" She said, along with other gibberish, that had I been able to interpret would have probably told me a wonderful story. After about four pages she toddled off to find another adventure and I quickly go ready for the day, grabbed my keys, and with a cheery, "see you later!" headed off on my own adventure. 

There was a touch of mist in the air, but the sun was still shining, so I pulled back the sun roof cover, plugged in my iPod and settled in for a nice drive to meet up with some friends for brunch. Then, silence... hmm, that wasn't supposed to happen. I was supposed to be hearing Michael singing "Save the Last Dance", or "I Just haven't met You Yet", instead just the buzz of my adapter greeted my ears. My iPod was completely dead, and all I would have to accompany me was the very special voice coming from my Garmin. My one consolation was that it should be a short ride and I would be sipping a latte and chatting with my friends soon. 

Of course it didn't work out quite that way, but several "re-calculating" and "turn left, then turn left again", also known as a U-turn, later I finally pulled up into the parking lot of Panera. I hurried inside to greet my friends and apologize for being late then filled them in on the details of my rather special morning, which made the whole thing a great funny story rather than bad day. 

Laughing with friends while enjoying a caramel latte and a delicious strawberry-cream scone, and catching up on life, topped my morning off, like a cherry on top of an ice cream Sunday. It made me realize that it is the little things that make life happy and special: sleeping in, giggling kiddos, sunshine, funny stories and great friends. The kind of things Saturdays are made of.

Laying aside that which is behind...

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." -the apostle Paul

I was talking to a friend this week and they pointed out that this verse says "forgetting what lies behind", it doesn't just say the hard things or the bad things. This made me think of several things:

• An athlete that focuses on a loss will not progress, but neither will one who can only think about or boast of a victory. They must lay aside both and concentrate on the coming race/game.
• We must learn from failures to correct our weaknesses but if we dwell on them we are likely to be defeated in our mind well before stepping back on the playing field.
• If you are looking at what is behind you, you are likely to run into something.
• In life if we focus on where we have been we will end up standing still or moving very slowly.
• If soldiers stoped fighting after winning a battle they would loose the war.
• Lastly, the turtle won the race by facing the finish line. ;)

Basically, this verse was a great reminder that I have a goal and I need to keep pushing toward it.

Change your Want-To

The other night I was listening to Beth Moore. She said several things that really hit home with me. I would like to share them, but don't want to have to try to directly quote her, so understand that several of the thoughts in this post will not be originally from me.

We usually do what we want to do, it it just a human thing to do. If we want to be able to change we need to change our want-to. We can give God obedience because we know it is the right thing to do, but when we want to do as God asks us it becomes part of who we are, thus easier.

I am not sure I am expressing it correctly, but when she was talking I thought of a conversation I had with a friend a few months ago: I told him that God says He will give us the desires of our heart, but that the more we love God the more His desires become our own. At the time I said I thought that was semi sneaky of God, but in taking a closer look at it I see a beautiful expression of God's love for us. He changes our "want-to" as we know Him better and delight in Him.

When we want to do a task it becomes a joy and not just a duty. There will be times when we obey because it is the right thing to do and that does please God, but I was challenged through Beth's talk to ask God to change my "want-to". Especially in the areas I struggle with, in the things that are hard.

I want to please God, and I want my heart's desires to reflect my love for Him. I want to "want-to" obey and please Him and to live life for Him because it is part of who I am, not just because it is good and right.

So my challenge to myself and to you is to ask God to change your want-to the next time you are struggling with something. Let His desires become your desires. 

All scripture is profitable for... reproof...

Recently I have been going through the process of deciding what the next step in life will be for me. I am sure you have been there before at some point, so you know it is a time of asking questions; trying to sort ideas, dreams, desires, goals and expectations. Life seemed to be heading one direction and I started making plans and allowed myself to get excited at the possibilities only to have God tell me no when I asked for clearer answers. 

To say I was disappointed would be significantly understating my emotions. I didn't understand what God was doing or why He seemed to allow me to walk down a path only to tell me to turn off it as soon as I started running. However, since there was nothing I could do about it I put it behind me and kept walking, looking for the next thing... or so I thought.

A couple of sundays ago I was sitting in church, partially listening and partially allowing my mind to wonder over plans and questions, when the Pastor asked if we had ever had God's plans differ from ours, or had God ever choose a path we would not have taken. As you can guess I thought to myself: "Oh yes! I know exactly what he's talking about."

Then  he spoke of  several examples in scripture of God asking people to do seemingly silly things, such as asking a tax collector to give up his comfortable life style to come follow Him. (I found it ironic that several of his examples had to do with life decisions) After giving examples of people's responses to God's direction in their life he asked if we accepted God's answers graciously. Were we willing to follow God's leading despite the cost, or direction, especially when it is not something we would have chosen.

Through these comments and the verses he pointed out God grabbed my attention completely, telling me I had not been gracious about His answers for me. Yes, I was 'doing the next thing' but my heart wasn't in it, and I was allowing myself to harbor a bad attitude while adopting a false sense of choosing the right thing. 

Verses such as: these people draw near to me with their lips but their hearts are far from me, and Love the Lord your God with all your heart... popped into my mind, followed by the verse: All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

God wanted more than just outward compliance, He wanted me to trust Him with my heart. Though people might be fooled He wasn't... He wants me to be complete, thoroughly equipped for whatever He has next, but I need to let go first. To be honest about my emotions, not pretend to be happy about it all, but to acknowledge I was having a hard time with it, and to trust Him in the mist of my own confusion. 

I can't say I'm completely there. I know if I could see from God's perspective I would be happy about His decisions because they are ultimately for my own good... I am just glad He is patient with me till my heart gets there, and continues to work in my life in spite of my attitude. I am so glad we have a God that cares enough to reprove us when we need it, and one who cares enough to understand when we are confused.